i'm sorry

i'm really sorry. i did spend some quiet moments with myself before making any decisions. my friends they want to see me happy, in fact they would want to see the old-happy me, happily attached and spoilt by my bf. =)

but i realised i felt the pressure of seeing you. i should have been fair to you. i've been numb too, by all the words a guy can say. i didn't meant to judge together with guys. i know everyone is different. Just that my past relationships started off without being friends. My parents asked about you, frankly speaking i duno how to answer them. i know nothing. here i admit its my fault.. its my fault for not making any effort to understand you and your life. because i'm still in a "playing" mode..
i was talkin to this friend. asking why i love freedom so much.. i'm so different compared to my sister. she's happily in love.i always believe love will exchange my freedom, maybe its my chinese name. should change the "yan" to another word..

i really duno how to love anymore. maybe flings are alright. but i really can't bring myself to love someone.
i'm really sorry, you are giving ur best effort and recieving nth from me..
as agreeded.. i will do what i promise u