emotions are back on track

 after tuning or brainwashing my thoughts.

i was feeling down as i had pre-condition myself that things had took the wrong step forward.

i would need to undo that step and correct the next step forward.

it was a sulky feeling, however knowing that the mind consciously is reacting to those thoughts i've input to myself.

i force myself not to msg him more things or rubbish matters.

i thought i hold it well until CO called me on last friday asking me what time i will be going down.

i told him i'm not going as im not able too, he was trying to get me to change my mind. but i told him why. i would if i could. no doubt. 

he understood.

that i was not "fully -vaccinated" .

so he continued talking about his plan and what happened which made him decide on certain things.

i was like..

duh.. he was excited to tell me, he bothered to explain to me. in details, and he backed his decisions.

later there was a disruption, and i was telling him that i can't hear him clearly, and he should get a phone. he in returned replied that i should be the one to get a new phone since im the one have problem hearing him, whilst he don't have problem with other ppl.

i think he didnt expect me to reply him that immediately that it should be him, because im the one really pay attention and listening, others might have and maybe didnt bothered.

and he change topic,

we talked for 15mins and he hang up as he was rushing for another meeting.

i felt better as we talked, but for the damned sake.

he know and he knew.

god knows.