counting down

 11 days until end of 30/11,

meanwhile i need to clear leave. which is next week- 4 days

ppl still looking for me to get things done,

which i'm out alrdy.

the list is forever there, not reducing keep adding.

its draining as much energy as i sprinting.

the last burst which i need to be fast and quick.

im finishing the race,

leaving not just sweat and blood behind.

im leaving a work family, im leaving my comfort zone.

im leaving the people i liked working with, drinking with.

everthing will comes to an end. and the End is within sight.

its official..

 i've announced that i'm leaving.

its going to be a happy ending for most.

the team will spilt, some will stay, some will go.

i will feel upset, i love the ppl and places.

but its time to move out of my comfort zone.

surely i can make it.

i also can feel that ppl are also hoping im staying for the mindef contract.

helping hands

i've tried to borrow resources but its not working.

exhausted all means and i still cant get it done.

then it struck me that "helping" is not always forthcoming.

and not everyone will put in the utmost best effort to help.

its kinda disappointing. because i've been helping.

but when i needed help,

the help seems beyond reach.

i know NDU will not blame me,

but i felt some how personal that i didnt get the job done.

and i will be truly grateful for ppl whom offer help unconditionally and without giving 101 reasons to reject and they just need 1 reason to offer help.

and i know what NDU would want me to stay..

because they know who to look when they need help  

state of the mind

 the mind is very powerful organ.

i always tell myself i can do more, better, and more precise.

i always tell myself, i want to earn more, do my things so that i can select or decide things/issues logically, not emotionally stuck with "not enough money to do/buy"

it would be more of i want to do things because.. or i want to buy this because.. of not what i like. but i can see the value first. not the price tag.

i always tell myself, im good, im great and i can go things great.

i love my work and i love to do things i desire.

strange,

things fall in place, noting that i would also need to work with my hands and leg.

Eric was deep.

he chose to trust me, despite that we are in a immerse conflict of interest and yet he still give me chance to explain myself.

i know my strength and i know my weakness.

no doubt that its always a upward slope for me, but im grateful to have these ppl, the support i have from home. and the understanding i receive.

its a YES!

strange strange day.

with aligned thoughts.

with the 4th offer, i felt that its better.

my heart and mind feel synchronised.

its time.

the time is ripe

its right.

although its a bit less of my initial asking.

but its near.

the mind is scary.

im not thinking of 100k,  and it just knocking.

instincts are crazy shits