letting it lose

ytd was a lousy day.
it had been quite a well since i label a day as lousy.
it totally spoil my mood further and it continue until wee hours in the morning.

i was overwhelmed by the mixed feelings and i'm feeling so negative that i wanna withdraw myself from this environment.

i felt that my work was tough, mind-draining and nv ending.
i felt that my frds were going to an end, not understanding and trust was lost.
i felt that when a guy refuse to say much and hides the msg, things are getting fishy.
i felt that there was fun moments while i struggled
i felt that no one can understand my pain that im going through

suddenly, i just wanna go beach alone and while sun tanning, i can think.

thinking whether if its worth it or not,
whether its worth the risk or the outcome,
whether it will stop or become worse,
whether it will impact myself or everyone around me..

this decision had officially popped out of my head.
if i should let my hands go,
let go of the things which are dear to me,
the things which are causing me much pain.

i found myself silly to give everything up at this point.
cause i dun wan a stained thing.
with little trust in most of the ppl in my life.
maybe i should keep myself to a handful of ppl.

i even though of becoming another person, the evil cold me.
to protect myself.

the dearest isnt doing the duties,
i hate my instincts la.
always so horrible.

from today on..
i will just be quiet.
to those that i had lost the trust and faith.

if you happen to realized i've changed,
dun ask me why,
coz u had hurt me much.