finding the balance

 it is obvious to myself, that i'm trying to get what is not mine.

and its also obvious that im trying to control the urge, knowing that its not mine.

while i need to work, take care of the kids.

he, just need to work, and after work, he is able to enjoy playing game while im alrdy so tired and i crashed.

and until saturdays he crashed because of the accumulated tiredness he had built up over the weekdays and sunday he would be tired too.

while, i still need to take care of the kids on weekends, he could just sleep or play game.

and the only thing i can, to pamper myself is to go out and drink with my friends.

now its not possible, i would built up Rage over time.

im upset that i would need to do so much.

and get over matters which i can't and making me losing sleep over it.

as much as i'm missing it, i guess im missing alot of things.

I'm tired.

when i look over my shoulders, i saw the smiles of the kids, i heard their laughter, i felt their warmth.

its fast charge.

still, there's gap.

i felt burnt out.

me too, need to charge.