i felt that i've lost my inner self ever since i stop writing down my thoughts.
its good that little people are reading my blog,
which means it get can more personal and more in depth.
which means my blog will be more personal.
this blog contains the growing up of BJY.
im turning 30 this year. and i seriously can't believe it too.
oh well.
let me pour my feelings first.
i had been feeling down for the past one month, because i had realised what i want.
and i guess its a little bit too late.
im craving for the "falling in love" mood.
and on the other hand, i like the stability and security back at home.
and now, im dead worried about Shark.
Shark was around before it left,
and it jolly well know..
it was still using our lingo to converse during lunch time and i had a hard time to control my eyes and my mind.
its a battle between my mind and my heart.
when my heart want to break free, my mind is the cage.
lucky it was all history, i've got nth to keep and i had been brainwashing myself that the Shark was looking for a rebound and it just want to rest.
im letting it go,
not only the sweet moment when i didn't know Shark was otw to my office and it suddenly pop out.
hang around at my office and had lunch tgt with everyone.
the thoughts that Shark was happy when it sees me.
the way Shark made my heart skip a few beats,
the way we share kisses
the way our hands lock tgt.
and the feeling?
just like Puppy Love.
it was just so simple.
and just so sweet.
both of us knew that we cannot bring this puppy love to another level.
And Shark decide to swim away totally from me.
until i saw Shark again a few days ago.
and now Shark is away because it was lost.
it was trying to find itself.
and i hope Shark can attain a higher level of oneself and come back,
stronger, wiser and better.
meanwhile,
i do feel better after typing so much
im burying this deep down with me.
and i guess, until the day i die.
i hope i can settle my emotions, so that i can really move on,
embrace better days, be happier and better.
Shark will be in my heart in that small corner and until it slowly disappear.
one day i hope.
we ended off agreed that we both are better off being frds
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